The Worst Valentine's Day Gifts Ever

Radar Online compiled a horrifying list of the Worst Valentine's Day gifts ever. They're tacky. They're terrible. Some of them are quite naughty. Our favorite is the 1-pound, anatomically correct, solid milk chocolate heart which retails for $15.95 and would make a perfect Valentine's Day gift for that heart surgeon who saved your life after performing a triple bypass on you. Although he'd probably then lecture you about avoiding animal fat and milk chocolate, so as not to need his services in the future.

Anatomically correct chocolate heart


But wait -- it gets worse. There's always the heart-shaped hoe:
WHO YOU CALLING A HOE? Let your Valentine feel the earth move! Described as a "very special tool," this touching hoe ($32.50, with 5-foot handle) will help your beloved pull weeds, edge borders, break up sod, and break up with you. After all, you gave him/her a hoe! The implications could hardly be clearer.
Still, the heart-shaped hoe is an excellent option for the passive aggressive.

For the love of Aphrodite, please don't purchase any of these items! Although we have to admit that the heart-shaped egg poacher elicited some oohs, aaahs and protestations of cuteness from a staffer who shall remain nameless.

Sadly, the horrifying list is no longer available. Perhaps these will keep people from purchasing the awful items. We did find the creepy chocolate heart here on Pushin Daisies, which describes itself as a mortuary novelty shop.

Posted on February 13, 2007

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