Bestselling author Stephen King is known for his horror stories. But he has another, previously unsuspected talent: diet enforcer. He's written an essay about movie snacks and why he loves them so much. He is totally opposed to people bringing in healthy snacks, because that's where the theaters (which are in big financial trouble) make their money. As he extols the virtues of movie snacks, he describes them in such a ghastly way that it may put you off eating in theaters altogther.
We will spare you his horrifying descriptions of movie popcorn, popcorn salt (okay, he says it looks like powdered urine -- blech) and fake popcorn butter (this grossed us out so much we had to stop reading for a minute). But he does like his Junior Mints (reminder: they're fat-free!) and has a unique way of eating them:
My candy of choice is Junior Mints. And while I don't bring bootleg food into the movies, I do bring bootleg toothpicks. Then, as I relax in my seat, I take a toothpick and poke five or six Junior Mints onto it. It ends the dreaded Chocolate Hand, and it's also kind of fun to eat candy off a stick. I call them Mint-Kebabs.
Mint-Kebabs. We like it. Just don't order the buttered popcorn.