The operator on the swine flu hotline needs to know if I have a fever. No fever, no swine flu. So I venture out to buy a thermometer. The pharmacy at the corner has run out. I drag myself to the next chemist on the high street, but the shelf is empty: the last digital one sold yesterday. Nearby is a Superdrug. Sweating and coughing, I run through the store looking for thermometers. None.

I call Superdrug. They say sales of thermometers have doubled each week for the last three weeks. Lloyds pharmacy has sold 700% more thermometers than for the same period last year.