But this season's sluggish consumer spending means retailers in Southern California are going to unheard-of lengths to make the hassle worth our while. Suddenly, super-deep storewide sales -- 50% to 70% off -- have become as common as Pinkberry outposts, encompassing every tier of retail, from Old Navy to Gucci.

Fliers are cramming our mailboxes, and we're not talking about circulars from Mervyns and Big Lots. The top tier of retail is typically the last to put things on sale or acknowledge in any way that business is less than stellar. But by early December, the sale cards started flying: 30% to 40% off designer collections at Saks Fifth Avenue; 50% off the whole lot at Prada; 10% off Barneys New York's entire inventory; 20% off everything at Trina Turk; and up to 70% off every last camisole at boutiques such as Presse and Elyse Walker.

Other high-end independent boutiques, including Lisa Kline, Jenni Kayne and Kitson, have bombarded their personal mailing lists with notices of special discount days and shopping parties -- breaking out the Champagne in an attempt to make holiday shopping more social than sadomasochistic. And it doesn't end there. Major mall retailers such as H&M are extending their friends-and-family discounts to passing acquaintances and, well, total strangers, via e-mail. Stories of sales clerks offering their personal employee discounts, unsolicited, also abound.

But strangest of all, perhaps, are the rumors of shoppers successfully haggling over prices at higher-end stores -- sharpening their Moroccan bazaar bargaining skills at Macy's (and even Marni?). Proof that retail has gone off the rails is everywhere. Lizzie Crampton, a personal trainer in Santa Monica, was shopping at Banana Republic on the Third Street Promenade last week, when a salesman slipped her a friends-and-family discount postcard for 30% off her entire purchase. "He told me it was only good starting the following day," she said, "and that I should put my things on hold and come back." She gladly did.