The New York Times has a depressing article
that explains why no one keeps New Year's Resolutions: from an evolutionary standpoint, we are wired not to change much, if at all. So is it pointless to try to make changes in your life? No, but don't underestimate how hard it will be. Here are the best tips the experts had for making lasting change in your life, whether it's losing weight, stopping smoking or ceasing to bite your nails.
Indeed, people like Ms. Leavitt often fail because they rely on the same strategies that have failed in the past, said Karin Schlanger, the director of the Brief Therapy Center at the Mental Research Institute in Palo Alto, Calif., which works with people trying to break destructive behaviors.
But while change may be difficult, Ms. Schlanger and other psychotherapists, addiction counselors and life coaches said, it is not impossible.
Even Mr. Deutschman, who acknowledged the low success rates of most change regimens, said certain strategies were more likely to bring positive results. He boils his conclusions down to four steps.
The first, he said, is to "start with big changes, not small ones," a strategy likely to yield immediate, noticeable benefits that inspire more positive change.
The second is to act like the kind of person you are trying to become; even if you hit the jogging trail with 30 pounds of flab, think of yourself as the jock you want to be. The third strategy is to "reframe" the situation. Recovering alcoholics, for example, have a higher chance of success if they reframe their sober life as a divorce from a tumultuous love affair with drinking, because they can then look back at their old life as a romantic adventure, rather than a sinkhole of regret.
The fourth, and crucial, strategy, he said, is based on the "don't do it alone" advice that is the bedrock of 12-step programs.
Even with the best help, only 45% of people manage to follow through with major life changes. Still, that's a pretty high percentage of success if you think about it. Just aim to be one of the 45% who really stick to their resolutions, whatever they may be.
